babbling
monday class at 12, not 10. stop leaving the desktop ffs… stuff.
(and god i never get the hang of mondays) -long drizzle of thoughts-
Something from a site on WoW and escapicism ..
on February 17, 2010 at 12:18 am | Reply krizzlybear
Fucking Emotional Shitstorms. Not even WoW can provide a good escape from them sometimes ;_;
- on February 17, 2010 at 7:10 am | Reply DarthRegis
Yes, but which shitstorm has more sockets?
…
So .. you know. I’m quite a fan of creating mental diversions from the harsh or banal… but I do see tons of incoming crap and am frankly, fearful of dealing with all of it.
…
One reason cited for addictive disorders, is a lack of meaningful relationships with external persons, which thus contribute to the construction of some utopian reality. .. I don’t mean to QQ about anything, but isn’t it hard when meaning is only found when ascribed by the individual in question?
A consequence of taking up psych and philo and.. ‘trying’ to pay attention to both… is to infer from how people normally think about things.. that … there can’t be a purposeful function of ethics other than for a flourishing of civilization. I guess that sounds pretty swell, except… you really only enjoy the benefits in full if you’re with the in-crowd: The crowd who lives in piecing jigsaw puzzles, and not in creating them.
.. Gosh I don’t even know what I’m saying.
Hm. More and more I see a strong tendency for escapicism, and this is… sadly, interfering. But it’s annoying, no? … How I wish things are different, and that false realities are true, and I can afford all the resources I can (and leave out the “people” being involved bits) to fully live them.
Isn’t it sad that people who needed help don’t often get them? Or how others are pushed further into their worlds because they grew to see the current world as opposed to their selves. How could it be that once we’re born, we learn so much from things around us that… really… what’s a true self anyway? We’re none of that. We’re.. just… us.
Because at the end of the day, no one really gives a shit about you. I still operate under the assumption that my family actually does give a bit more than that about me… but that’s like.. a lifeline I don’t intend to pry into.
…. Have you ever screamed at yourself and say that it’s your fault? … It’s strange. At moments of great distress, I can now candidly say that it’s happened to me. I could hear myself repeatedly say, with great loathing.. how “it’s your fault!”.. and how “you know better!”. And… was it another part of me that listens to this and kept saying “i’m sorry”? It felt like it. One part furious and bitterly screaming, the other part listening with a slice of despair. Thankfully (or am i saying this only because of what i know), the barriers are feeble and closer inspection dissolved any wobbles between those two, to form someone who was speaking and listening.
..it’s not right. People deeply immersed in shit all the time struggle so much just to be able to say that they are content and happy, and the rest of us walk away with some petty whining. No… it’s all bad. Everyone’s got their problems, no one more worse off than the other?.. That kind of mentality allowed people today to self-indulge.
But what does it matter right? As long as you’re feeling reasonably happy, it’s ok to look away. Just like how you’d better look away when you’re feeling uncomfortable. Or you’d look for something if you find it meaningful and helps you be happy..
Eff. This is pointless. I’m sleepy.
Word of caution: It could very well be that I believe in something about my readers that they may feel hurt about. Somewhere along the way, I might probably have stopped caring and simply blamed myself, end story.
… nap.
